Pride? Or looking for a man?

I recently wrote a poem I thought reflected me a bit- at least what sort of a person I used to be. A bit is all. Pride- That was what my poem was about really. How we let false pride stop us from getting what we care about. How stubborn we at times get. How we will refuse help, encouragement, support - things we secretly crave; all because of pride.
I believe I changed a lot after my marriage. Mellowed a bit. More gentle, less stubborn. Fiery? Not any more- although the occasional tantrum may surface...
Ah....got off the track. The poem, which I thought was about pride- recieved a comment which politely guided me to a- ahem- dating site!! Oh well, never did say I was a poet. Communication gap? Or maybe the comment was just a part of a scam..... see here for the poem.

Delirious Mind here...

I have a writer's blog! Whenever I try to write something I just end up staring at the screen and my online time counter clicking away...I just dont know what to do. And another thing that's been getting at me is that I've gained weight- again! I mean, this sux bad. I've been told I'm really weak and I shouldn't risk dieting, but- like- w-e-a-k? with a 28 inch waist? b-a-h! And I'm the all or nothing kinda person. I just can't avoid unhealthy stuff like chocolates, ice creams, condensed sweetened milk etc and take in the healthy low fat stuff! Wish I could do that, I really do. Either i take in everything i want, or nothintg- go on a traditional starve-yourself diet. That will mean more weakness.... s-i-g-h! why does life have to be so difficult? May be I ought to get liposuction done? I wonder how much that would cost? I doubt I can afford it. Besides, I'm sure there are side effects no one knows of, and they'll choose my very body to surface upon!
The road near my place is being reconstructed.Was dug up about a month ago and the authorities seem to have forgotton they dug it up letting huge amounts of traffic on the nearby roads. The fact taht this may cause people problems, emergencies may suffer and blah blah is just that to them- b-l-a-h! Did I mention they got elected through no opinion? the elections were rigged. S-i-g-h! I know that, the entire Karachi knows that, the newspapers mentioned that- and what does good old President say? After the fair and trouble free elections (did I mention more than 25 people got killed during the *trouble free* elections?) investors will definately have faith enough in Pakistan to invest! errr! Oh, yeah. The rigging. Our last Mayor was a great man. He was ranked in top 5 mayors in the world. Second in Asia. After all the parks he built, roads and bridges he built- Karachi seemed like such a developed place. Why would *anyone* in their right minds vote for the mafia? Yes, well, not many did... but the few that did- kept on voting, and voting, and voting. Next to teh rangers too. When asked the rangers why they were't stopping this open cheating they replied "It wasn't their job!" Wonder what Musharraf is doing? Oh well, who can we turn to? The govt? *snickers* the govt is our problem it seems.....
Well, enough about the government. And for people who have read this mumbo jumbo I wrote... I thank you. I assure you there are times I am sane too. Just ask my husband...errr no. Ask me famil...no! just believe me... i am sane at times too :p

the 90/10 principle

The 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life.

What is the 90/10 Principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react? You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave
Immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at
the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have
happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel
you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the
bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios.
Both started the same.
Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10
principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative
comment affects you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out
etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let
the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out.


Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration
on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just
make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose no thing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days.
Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships
and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you?
If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different!

Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.It will change your life.

All DatZ HappeNinG

My husband went to Malaysia for a tour. A lot happened around this event. For example, a pipeline in our kitchen burst sending water two floors down. That meant immediate plumbing and a lot of expense! They had to dig up the kitchen floor to find the desired pipeline! Also, I managed to get food poisoning. Had to go to the hospital at least twice for an IV and injected medicine to stop the throwing up fits! Got in control after 5-6 days! Bad days for me. Yumna was well taken care of since I had shifted to my mom’s place. She had her grand parents as well as two uncles to dote on her. They spoiled her rotten. Well, my budget’s down- way, way down. The plumbing, along with a huge electricity bill really took its toll. I am hoping I wake up one day (in the immediate future) and find out the month has ended. :p

Something I wanted to share. At the time of departure when my husband was waiting in the immigration line he came across a foreigner with her kid. She was standing in the well formed line when she decided she had had enough of the wait and broke the line trying to get ahead. It wasn’t that which got Fawad angry, but the fact that while she was doing this she laughed and commented to her son “This is Pakistan.” Now the condescending and the mocking tone was what really got to Fawad. Of all the dozens of Pakistanis in the queue, she was the one who had broken the rule. He said “do not blame Pakistan for the rules you are breaking.”
Seems she did not like it. After degrading Pakistan as loudly as she could have managed, she now turned to my husband. “I am not talking to you, idiot!” yes, those were precisely her words. What followed was a shouting match. My husband and that woman (I’m sorry but I can’t bring myself to call her a lady!) the star attraction was her kid- who started cursing as loudly as he could. Cursing my husband- words we do not hear, words we hope our kids never learn. And this one here was using them on a man twice his age. The match ended as soon as it had begun. The people politely broke it up. Later, some Pakistanis did approach my husband to tell him he did the right thing. The foreigners were guests in Pakistan and they were treated like guests but when the guests start to humiliate and mock the host, all I can say is, the host should not take that graciously, lying down.
A few things I wondered:
1. We, in Pakistan, know we can get away with speeding, breaking traffic signals, lines and all that stuff. Yet most of us don’t do it. That woman obviously kept the rules she knew she couldn’t get away breaking. And broke the rules she could get away with. What does that tell an onlooker about the people of the two nations?
2. In my twenty three years I have yet to meet a kid who curses someone older than him and two uses that kind of language in front of his mother.
3. What kind of a guest would mock and humiliate their host. Take undue advantage of their hospitality? And worse, think it their due!

Just A Thought

As an avid reader of books on the super natural, i picked up 'The Vampire Armand' by Anne Rice. It is one of the sequels to 'Interview With The Vampire'.
This book has a lot on Christianity and that was what I did not like. Now here is what I wonder- is it okay morally to sell a book by twisting a religion? Is cashing upon religion- any religion okay? Scorning upon some aspects, making up others? There really was no warning, or I'd have skipped the book.
I think no one has right to cash upon twisting and adding their own bits to anyone's faith.
That was precisely why i disliked 'Da Vinci Code'.
Religion is faith, it is belief. It is not to be probed for logic- like a psychologist/scientist conducting an experiment. no.